Crocheting Grandma...Sexy?....I think so.

I started to feel the gravitational pull towards crocheting about 5 months before this little ball of yarn entered into my life.
It started out innocently enough with a pretty ball of yarn that was on sale.
I rationalized it's purchase because I could use it to make photography props for my new career.
My beautiful friend Jenelle made all sorts of baby caps, cocoons and diaper covers. Each one was so well done and I was jealous of her ability. Until I remembered that I too knew how to crochet.
Well that is a little bit of an overstatement.
I had made hanger covers and dish cloths.
Worried that crocheting might mark me as an "old person" or even worse..."a granny", I comforted myself by rationalizing that Jenelle was one of the hippest, coolest and youngest friend I had.
That's right I thought...... crocheting is COOL!
This isn't your grandma's sport anymore....
So I embarked on the adventure of hipster crocheting, learning how to read patterns and buying trendy colors of yarn.
I even made a kitty hat for my sweet niece Miss Lisa who is ALWAYS on the cutting edge of what's hot and  edgy.
I acquired yarn by the skeinfuls not even knowing what the next project would be...only knowing that the soft ombre colors made me happy.....and cool.
Until I caught a reflection of myself one day in the mirror.
Messy  graying ponytail, old sweatshirt,  squinting through my reading glasses.....
 and I knew that I was definitely not on the cool train to Edgyville.
Darn it!
I AM a grandma!
I still haven't lost hope though. I found these pictures as I was meandering down my local Hobby Lobby's yarn aisle.

 These women obviously know how to keep that sexy edge while crocheting.
So I know there is hope.
I plan on having my hair and make-up done and I am practicing my sexy smile.
I will learn how to crochet will I smize.
So with that in mind I have picked out a few new projects to up my crocheting street cred.

and then on to sewing.
I am thinking this outfit would really give me the cool factor for any jobs I might book.
In short.
Watch out world.
I may be a grandma but,
I still got it!

I Matter....

Funny story.....

I was going through my lists of posts since it has been awhile since I have blogged.

I came across a post entitled..I Matter. It was an unpublished draft.

I couldn't quite remember writing it and since I thought that it sounded interesting I opened it up.

Obviously I did not finish the post since it is literally a cliff hanger.

And now for the life of me I can't remember what it was that I wanted to say.

Isn't old age grand?

I am going to ponder it tonight while I try and sleep

(Isn't old age grand?)

And if I remember what it was that was going to convince me that I MATTER and that you do as well I will get back  to you and write

I Matter part 2.

If any one else feels inspired to finish this clearly inspired post feel free. 

It will be like the game we use to play in elementary school where someone started a story and then it went around in a circle until it's conclusion.

Meanwhile while you are waiting....please believe that I REALLY do think that you and I matter.

Honest.

Sunday, I taught Relief Society for the first time in awhile.
(Relief Society is the LDS organization for women and what a wonderful organization it is)
Thankfully the message I was to deliver is right up my alley and one I feel very passionate about lately.
It really has been on my mind the last two years as I have tried to make a "graceful" (a word not often used to describe me) transition into the next phase in my life.
I have gone from full time mother....
To part time photographer, part time Real estate courier, part time mother (if that is even possible?) and
FULL TIME SHELLLEY!!
That's right full time Shelley is back and for awhile did not know what to do with herself.
The lesson on Sunday answered that question in a beautiful way that really resonated with what I have learned (and NOT the easy way) over the last two years.
I felt so strongly about this message that I gave each woman a challenge (and candy of course...duh)
Was to post within daily site and repeat every day these two words.
I MATTER!
I also asked them to share it with at least one more person because the message needs to be said and felt more than ever in our world.
And so you are the person I want to share it with.
I wish I could sit down with you and share a Route 44 Diet Coke with Cranberry and extra ice....
(and by share I mean you get your drink and I get mine....I don't share my drink with anyone)
and tell you this face to face.
This will have to do.
We spend a LOT of time as human beings on measuring.
We measure our time by seconds, minutes, hours, days and years
We measure our food by meals and standards like small, medium and large and the all important Route 44.
We measure our education by degrees and standardized tests.
We measure our height and weight by the numbers and then classify ourselves into categories of short, thin, fat, average.
We measure our children by the milestones they reach, the grades that they make and the awards they receive.
It's not that measuring is a bad thing
But it can get in our own way.

Watching Paint Dry and Awards

My dear sweet daughter Megan nominated my blog for an award.....

Of course I am sure that there was no bias in the awarding of this honor....

So I gladly accept this wonderful prize and I would like to thank the academy and the foreign film press and my Mom and Dad and all the little people.....
Oh wait there is a little catch.
I have to answer a few questions first to deserve the accolades.
And so here they are...

1. If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
That's an easy one. I have even given quite a bit of thought to it. Why you ask? This is a question that if asked quickly you do NOT want to get wrong. I have many favorite foods and as you all know sugar tops that list but you have to consider health and wellness if you want to have a "rest of your life". So the answer would have to be bread.
2. What is your favorite memory from college?
That has to be meeting the man of my dreams. Although we grew up in the same stake here in Houston I never laid eyes on him until we met outside my dorm room in Helaman Halls. I can honestly say that I have never met a more handsome, kind, sweet man in my life and I know that we were destined to be together forever
3. If you had to choose a different career (besides teaching and mothering) what would it be?
Lol I think I have already done so......
Hello....PHOTOGRAPHY!!!
But I would be working for National Geographic....dream job!
4. What was your craziest motherhood moment?
There were many....far far too many but the one that springs to mind with you was when I was wheeling you through Target....you were about 2 or 3 years old with quite a vivid imagination and vocabulary. You had been quiet for a few minutes (that should have tipped me off to trouble right there) and I was looking at a pair of scissors, deciding which one to buy. All of a sudden in a very loud voice you cried, "Please Mommy please don't cut me with those scissors!" I quietly put down the scissors and in my sweetest voice (the public sweet voice that let you know you were in real trouble) said out loud to the people staring at us that mommy had NEVER ever cut you with scissors. I could see them all racing to their phones to call CPS.
5. What is your favorite quote and why?
That's is a hard one but recently it has been:
I choose to excel; not compete.
Oh and the classic...When it is your time to go.....Go.
6. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
I knew that I would be an actress like the kids on Brady Bunch.
7. If your life were made into a movie, what would it be called?
"Who would ever pay to go to a movie about my life" That would be the title.
8. If you could interview anyone from any point in history, who would it be?
Eve
9. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
Champ
10. What compliment do you receive the most often?
What a wonderful daughter I have.
Go read her blog at meganarratives.blogspot.com

The Two New Men in my Life

What's new?
Well.....I will just come out and admit it.
There are two new men in my life.
There I said it.
Feels good to have it all out in the open.
One is a sea-faring man, an officer whose nutty ways always bring a smile to my face.
The other is sleek, dark and handsome with an ability to bring sunshine and music into my life.
I had always thought that "mid-life" crisis relationships were only for men. I didn't even realize that I was looking for them until they appeared in my life like ships that pass in the night.
Let me just dispense with the suspense and introduce you.
Mystery Man #1

The Cap'n

I wish that I knew what power this old man has over me lately. Heck I don't even think that he is even officially in the military. He doesn't call himself Captain Crunch but Cap'n.....suspicious.  The missing finger is a problem and well I have never been big on a man with facial hair.... Growing up my mother always bought Cap'n Crunch cereal as I suspect it was what could be purchased the cheapest. I didn't even like it then. I would usually just dig around in the box, pull out all the crunch berries and see if there was some prize to be had.

But doggone it.....This is ALL I want to eat anymore.

I think my record is 9....

Nine straight days of peanut butter Cap'n Crunch for dinner.

I hear whispers behind my back  from my children about a possible "crunchervention" being planned.

I find myself wanting alone time so that the Cap'n and I could meet without the stares and comments.

"Cap'n Crunch AGAIN??"

Todd offers all the time to take me out to dinner....anywhere I want......but truly this is my manna.

This is what I want.

I am fully blaming peri-menopause for this one.

That and the fact that after 50 years of not eating hamburgers, the only thing that can entice me away from my maritime friend is a western bacon cheeseburger at Smashburger.

I have always despised peanut butter, ground beef and barbeque sauce....the very three foods which are currently keeping me alive.

Mystery man number 2 you ask?

Black Jack

My new car.

Yes he is a guy.

Todd said that it was impossible and that all cars are girls but he is wrong.

This guys a dude! I am positive as I checked under the hood.

What is strange about this new man in my life is that I didn't even know that I wanted him.

I have always been apathetic about my mode of transportation, even going so far as to look down a little on others who went on and on about a certain make or model. Never wanting a vehicle to be a status symbol which represented me, I always said, "All I need is for a car to be reliable, take me from point A to point B, and have air conditioning. (which in Houston is not a frivolous request but an actual necessity)  

So when it came time to get a new vehicle the conversation went like this:

Todd: Well what kind of car do you want?

Me: I don't care...whatever.

Todd: Really?

Me: Well I am sick of driving around in an empty van. I feel like a sad retired school bus driver with no children. My voice echoes when I sing along with the radio.

Todd: Are we ready to make the leap to only having sedans? What if we need to haul something? How will we take everyone places when they come to visit?

Me: I don't want to haul anything and they will just have to bring their own cars.

Todd: What about camera equipment?

Me: Valid point....SUV then?

Todd: Great! What kind of SUV then?

Me: Oh I don't care....whatever is the best price and reliable.........

and...........

a sun roof.

(Here is where I start to become a different person....one theory.....recent change of diet)

and American made.....

Ford perhaps.....

And definitely not white but any other color....

Or maybe grays and blacks.....

A few weeks later I find myself negotiating with the slick used car salesman Abraham...

I stride in and before I even shake his hand I say,

I want a Ford Escape 2011 or newer....black.....dark interior......under 25,000 miles and it has to have a sunroof. And I won't pay more than 19,000 Do you have that??

Nope? 

See ya!

Who am I???

As I evaluate my sudden interest in cars over a bowl of crunchy cereal I realize that I need to just go to Todd and tell him to buy me whatever is the most reliable car, that gets me from point A to point B and has air conditioning for the best price he can find.

He smiles and says, "we will find something."

That sweet man found me Black Jack.

And it is everything I asked for.

2012,Ford Explorer, black, sleek, sexy and the sun shines on my head as I go from point A to point B.

So is Todd worried about the two new men in my life?

How could he?

With a man like this...

There is NEVER any competition.

5 friends Part 1

My daughter Megan and I were talking today
(we are able to do that a lot while we spend our days feeding, rocking and staring at the little princess.)
And we agreed upon two things.
1. That we were both married to some of God's finest men on earth.
and
2. Sometimes you just gotta talk to a woman no matter how great said men are.
Females need other females.
I know and have known some wonderful females in my half a century on earth.
Today I started thinking about the ones who made an imprint on my life.
If only for a brief time.

I could think of with 5.
Each from a different time and place in my life.
All of them now not a active participant in my world but a treasured memory. Only one of the 5 do I even still keep in contact with and know where they are.
But each one was played a part in my life.

Lana was my first friend.
She was three almost four and I had just turned 5. Her mother thought it would be a good idea for me to come and play with her since she was an only child, adopted by two people who were over the moon with the opportunity to be parents. I was disgusted with the idea of playing with a "baby" who was still three and I remember being very ticked at my mother for agreeing to the arrangement. It was a done deal though and so I trudged down the hill and around the corner to Lana's house in the cul de sac. I entered a world which I never knew existed. Lana being the only child had EVERYTHING! I mean it....everything. She had every doll, toy and game that I knew of. For Easter she would get two or three baskets of candy, milk chocolate, white chocolate (I didn't even know that existed) and bunnies the size of  an infant. I remember one basket was even made of chocolate. Don't even start with how Christmas was celebrated. She had (brace yourself) a TV in her room. For those old enough to remember the 60's....a family was lucky to have one TV in the den! And for lunch her mother made her whatever she wanted. She served Lana (brace yourself again) Fluffer Nutter Sandwiches!!!! That's peanut butter with marshmellow creme people!! For LUNCH!!
Okay I am calm again.
Even though there was every reason to hate her with her abundance and being a baby and all....we clicked and I loved playing with her (or it might have been her stuff but hey I was 5)
I was very sad when after three years I had to move from New Jersey to West Virginia and leave Lana behind. It was my first taste of friendship sadness.
(and boy did I miss those sandwiches....my mom was not on board with those for lunch)
Years later in 2001 I went back to the street...Fawn Ridge Drive....and stood outside the old house. I walked to the side of the yard to look where we had played tag and "Planet of the Apes"....a game we had invented after seeing the movie. I walked down the street and around the corner to Lana's house where her parents still live. They greeted us like long lost friends and welcomed us into their home. They told us all about Lana and the wonderful life she had in New York City.  I could just picture her sitting by a window of her high rise condo in a beautiful sequined gown looking over the skyline with a TV in every room and a giant chocolate bunny. It was good to sit and chat with her parents and remember old times....But dang it if there were no fluffer nutters.
Friend 2 to follow.....Linda and my teenage years. :o

Plan B

Megan had one of those "mommy" days.
You know the ones where the baby is fussy
You feel exhausted
And there is just a dark cloud that seems to hover over you no matter what you do.
I had my fair share of those.
So I know what they look and feel and sound and smell like.
And to add the cherry on the top.
Deep down inside you know that you are so blessed and fortunate to be right where you are under that dark cloud, tired and listening to her cries and so you feel ungrateful to go along with the plethora of emotions that surge through your postpartum body.
I also felt a little listless today as well.
And so I came up with a magnificent solution.
We would work ourselves out of our funk.
We would do all we could to make the sweetie baby happy and then we would organize our world, letting her cry if need be.
Two women shoulder to shoulder...
In the trenches of domestic warfare.
Two generations of strength and resolve ready to tackle our emotions head on.
Our mother daughter shoulders to the wheel.
Megan went about cleaning the kitchen while I labored to put everything in it's place, moving from room to room like a man on a mission.
The baby was not thrilled with our new found determination but we remained strong to her protests.
We moved her from the floor to the swing to the jumper to her stomach to her back to the floor and well you get the picture.
After a hour or so I caved in a little
My grandma resolve not as resolute as I had planned.
She thrust out her arms and formed a human T, arching her back so that I could pick her up easier.
I looked over at Megan folding a massive mountain of laundry with tears in her eyes.
Plan B
I scooted Megan out the door with an errand to buy baskets at the dollars store with a coupon to chickfila in her hand for a free sandwich.
I assured her that it was an important task and that I would hold down the fort...chief baby and all.
And then I layed on the carpet beside Kate and spent the next hour just enjoying every moment with her.
Kissing her soft brown hair and listening to her squawking attempts at conversation.
I silently prayed and thanked God for the opportunity to enjoy a new life to it's fullest.
Not like I did with my own.
Tired and worried with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
But from a new vantage point.
From a grandmas perspective.

 And I knew what I wanted to tell Megan when she got home.
I wanted her to know that she is doing an amazing job with my sweet grandchild.
That she has met and exceeded all of my expectations of her.
That she is mother that I am proud to call my daughter.
And Kate is lucky to have been born to her.
And although the hormone fairy delivers a bad day once in awhile.
She is doing the most important job in the world.
And she is doing it amazingly.

Halloween...SERIOUSLY!

A sweet friend on facebook asked me to post pictures of my Halloween decoration.
She really knows the way to my heart.
I am not quite finished with them.
There are a few cobwebs to place and a few rats to place in strategic places, so while you are waiting....
Well maybe SOMEONE is waiting...
Here are some pictures from last year.
On the downside.....
It was the first time that I had been away from home for the holidays.
On the upside it was the first Halloween that I was with ALL of my kids since 2005!!
What a wonderful treat that was.
Megan pregnant with her first little ghoul...I mean girl.
Jack my pumpkin carving enthusiast who loves it just as much as I do.
And Lauren my talented makeup artist. What that girl can do with eyeliner!!
What I was unaware of though was Utah residents love of Halloween decorations!
My goodness they were festive.
In Megan and Daves neighborhood alone there were 20 or so houses that were spookily bootiful!

But there was ONE HOUSE....
I mean pirate palace.....
These mateys are the REAL DEAL....I tell you.....even I...the self proclaimed Queen of Halloween was speechless....

It was even more spectacular at night.
They had skull and crossbones projected on the garage door and windows that looked like pirate flags blowing in the wind.
They piped in jaunty sea shanties like the soundtrack from Pirates of the Caribbean and one song in particular which still plays a loop in my brain from time to time.
"What do you do with a drunken sailor....what do you do with a drunken sailor....what do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning...
Shave his belly with a rusty razor...shave his belly with a rusty razor....."
Well you get the point.
The only thing I could do to answer back to their challenge was have my professional makeup artist make me as scary as possible.
(not as hard a task as one might think)

 The trick or treaters were ADORABLE!
My favorite of the night?

They got extra candy....in fact they got my FAVORITE candy
FUN DIP!!!!
All of the kids were given a choice of that or snickers...
Fun dip won EVERYTIME!

My lovely niece Lisa picked Fun Dip too ;)
There were a couple of trick or treaters in the house as well...

 Johnny Appleseed

And a pirate family with their baby parrot. Argggg.
And of course no Halloween would be complete without the annual Winn pumpkin carving contest.
(where EVERYONE winns)

All in all it was an amazing Halloween.
And the best part....
being with my kids.
I think I love them even MORE than I love Halloween!
(but not by too much )
BOO!

Jinx Jinx and Double Jinx

You would think I would have learned my lesson by now....
I must
NEVER
EVER
UNDER
ANY
CIRCUMSTANCES
promise to do a two part post.
It is the biggest jinx when I do.
I set it all up to show you the wonderful haul that I made at the Park City Thrift Store
with my hundred dollars
and
then
NOTHING.
Every day I would promise myself that I would take pictures and post them.
After all why should I be the only one to gaze each day upon my amazing finds.
I knew that everyone was waiting....
(humor me here....will you)
I finally found the time to take the pictures....
(ok so time really isn't my problem...it is more finding the will)
and I realized that I had lost the piece de resistance from my collection.
It was the only item with an original price tag
(which read 89 dollars and I got it for 12!!)
And it was BIG!
Which should not be an indication of the state of my house or my organizational abilities....
BUT
as they say in Hollywood....
The blog must go on!
SO here is the whole kitten kaboodle.....
minus the BIG thing which I WILL FIND!!

 These really MOOved me....I mean who DOESN'T want ceramic cow measuring cups?

 I love silver in any form and this little cup had my name written all over it....ER....well it actually had someone else's initials all over it but that makes it seem even more fun. I have already created the fictional character Mary Greenwood Pennyworth who had it custom made to drink her sparkling water out of.

 If there is a new way to display pictures...COUNT ME IN! I loved this stand and clips and plan on using it over and over with different pictures each month.

 This one was perhaps my favorite find. I already had the huge black acorn on my shelf. When I saw this silver squirrel I fell in LOVE! Then when I realized you could put a nut in his mouth..push down his tail and voila! cracked nuts!!! Well there was NO way he wasn't going home with me.

 My favorite Uncle Jack had this amazing house in Kaysville where I used to spend time at every summer. I thought that everything he did or owned was the bomb diggity. He had one of these games in his upstairs play room. Although it always frustrated me more than entertained me, it was a sign that it had to make the journey home.

UM......I am a GRANDMA now!!!! I think this purchase is completely self explanatory!!!
(Isn't this just to die for!!! When I brought it home Megan and Dave said, "Yippee It's like visiting the doctors office without all the bad stuff!)
There are three more things that I purchased....
Two cooking items
and
THE BIG thing
It is getting late and I am tired
so I will post it tomorrow.
DANG IT!
jinxed again.