Thursday, April 19, 2012

Knock Knock....

Only a few more days until I fly to Utah to see my sons and my daughter
And to meet someone new.
Although I have a feeling that we have met before.
This person will usher me into yet another new phase of my life.
It's one of those doors of your life that once you enter you cannot exit.
(Yes, much like the Hotel California)
Those who have read my blog should know by now that it is never easy for me.
I over-think things.
At least I use to.
Now I hope that my advancing age has least brought the wisdom that everyday is different and cannot be predicted.
And yet people ask me anyway,
"Are you excited to be a grandma?"
I answer yes because I know that is what I am suppose to say.
And there is a part of me that is.
The little clothes and layette purchased and packed,
The recent urge to crochet producing copious amounts of hats,
New photography gadgets to capture every second of her life ;)
And yet....
There is another baby that occupies my thoughts.
This one.
That's my beautiful mom holding my first born.
My Megan.
And that is where my heart is right now.
I think about the fact that she is embarking on the most exciting, joyful, difficult journey of her mortal life.
At least it was and is for me.
It changes everything.
It is profoundly rewarding.
It is more difficult than I had ever imagined.
To do it right that is.
To love someone more than yourself......
whether you want to or not.
To experience joy and pain,
Happiness and sadness,
Pride and disappointment..
All on a brand new level

I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished in her life.
And I know that she will make an amazing mother.
But the mother in me....
Can't help but want to take care of HER.
To make sure that everything is easy for HER.
I know that is impossible but..
Hey I am a mom.
It's what we do.
It's what she will do.
And I am pretty sure that once Katelyn makes her grand entrance.
I will learn another whole level of love.
Why yes I guess I AM excited for that.


Lynn said...

Well done Shelley... very well done.

Dave and Megan said...

What a lovely post. I am so excited for you to get here! Katelyn will love you. :)