Thursday, October 4, 2012

5 friends Part 1

My daughter Megan and I were talking today
(we are able to do that a lot while we spend our days feeding, rocking and staring at the little princess.)
And we agreed upon two things.
1. That we were both married to some of God's finest men on earth.
and
2. Sometimes you just gotta talk to a woman no matter how great said men are.
Females need other females.
I know and have known some wonderful females in my half a century on earth.
Today I started thinking about the ones who made an imprint on my life.
If only for a brief time.

I could think of with 5.
Each from a different time and place in my life.
All of them now not a active participant in my world but a treasured memory. Only one of the 5 do I even still keep in contact with and know where they are.
But each one was played a part in my life.

Lana was my first friend.
She was three almost four and I had just turned 5. Her mother thought it would be a good idea for me to come and play with her since she was an only child, adopted by two people who were over the moon with the opportunity to be parents. I was disgusted with the idea of playing with a "baby" who was still three and I remember being very ticked at my mother for agreeing to the arrangement. It was a done deal though and so I trudged down the hill and around the corner to Lana's house in the cul de sac. I entered a world which I never knew existed. Lana being the only child had EVERYTHING! I mean it....everything. She had every doll, toy and game that I knew of. For Easter she would get two or three baskets of candy, milk chocolate, white chocolate (I didn't even know that existed) and bunnies the size of  an infant. I remember one basket was even made of chocolate. Don't even start with how Christmas was celebrated. She had (brace yourself) a TV in her room. For those old enough to remember the 60's....a family was lucky to have one TV in the den! And for lunch her mother made her whatever she wanted. She served Lana (brace yourself again) Fluffer Nutter Sandwiches!!!! That's peanut butter with marshmellow creme people!! For LUNCH!!
Okay I am calm again.
Even though there was every reason to hate her with her abundance and being a baby and all....we clicked and I loved playing with her (or it might have been her stuff but hey I was 5)
I was very sad when after three years I had to move from New Jersey to West Virginia and leave Lana behind. It was my first taste of friendship sadness.
(and boy did I miss those sandwiches....my mom was not on board with those for lunch)
Years later in 2001 I went back to the street...Fawn Ridge Drive....and stood outside the old house. I walked to the side of the yard to look where we had played tag and "Planet of the Apes"....a game we had invented after seeing the movie. I walked down the street and around the corner to Lana's house where her parents still live. They greeted us like long lost friends and welcomed us into their home. They told us all about Lana and the wonderful life she had in New York City.  I could just picture her sitting by a window of her high rise condo in a beautiful sequined gown looking over the skyline with a TV in every room and a giant chocolate bunny. It was good to sit and chat with her parents and remember old times....But dang it if there were no fluffer nutters.
Friend 2 to follow.....Linda and my teenage years. :o

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Plan B

Megan had one of those "mommy" days.
You know the ones where the baby is fussy
You feel exhausted
And there is just a dark cloud that seems to hover over you no matter what you do.
I had my fair share of those.
So I know what they look and feel and sound and smell like.
And to add the cherry on the top.
Deep down inside you know that you are so blessed and fortunate to be right where you are under that dark cloud, tired and listening to her cries and so you feel ungrateful to go along with the plethora of emotions that surge through your postpartum body.
I also felt a little listless today as well.
And so I came up with a magnificent solution.
We would work ourselves out of our funk.
We would do all we could to make the sweetie baby happy and then we would organize our world, letting her cry if need be.
Two women shoulder to shoulder...
In the trenches of domestic warfare.
Two generations of strength and resolve ready to tackle our emotions head on.
Our mother daughter shoulders to the wheel.
Megan went about cleaning the kitchen while I labored to put everything in it's place, moving from room to room like a man on a mission.
The baby was not thrilled with our new found determination but we remained strong to her protests.
We moved her from the floor to the swing to the jumper to her stomach to her back to the floor and well you get the picture.
After a hour or so I caved in a little
My grandma resolve not as resolute as I had planned.
She thrust out her arms and formed a human T, arching her back so that I could pick her up easier.
I looked over at Megan folding a massive mountain of laundry with tears in her eyes.
Plan B
I scooted Megan out the door with an errand to buy baskets at the dollars store with a coupon to chickfila in her hand for a free sandwich.
I assured her that it was an important task and that I would hold down the fort...chief baby and all.
And then I layed on the carpet beside Kate and spent the next hour just enjoying every moment with her.
Kissing her soft brown hair and listening to her squawking attempts at conversation.
I silently prayed and thanked God for the opportunity to enjoy a new life to it's fullest.
Not like I did with my own.
Tired and worried with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
But from a new vantage point.
From a grandmas perspective.

 And I knew what I wanted to tell Megan when she got home.
I wanted her to know that she is doing an amazing job with my sweet grandchild.
That she has met and exceeded all of my expectations of her.
That she is mother that I am proud to call my daughter.
And Kate is lucky to have been born to her.
And although the hormone fairy delivers a bad day once in awhile.
She is doing the most important job in the world.
And she is doing it amazingly.