Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Plan B

Megan had one of those "mommy" days.
You know the ones where the baby is fussy
You feel exhausted
And there is just a dark cloud that seems to hover over you no matter what you do.
I had my fair share of those.
So I know what they look and feel and sound and smell like.
And to add the cherry on the top.
Deep down inside you know that you are so blessed and fortunate to be right where you are under that dark cloud, tired and listening to her cries and so you feel ungrateful to go along with the plethora of emotions that surge through your postpartum body.
I also felt a little listless today as well.
And so I came up with a magnificent solution.
We would work ourselves out of our funk.
We would do all we could to make the sweetie baby happy and then we would organize our world, letting her cry if need be.
Two women shoulder to shoulder...
In the trenches of domestic warfare.
Two generations of strength and resolve ready to tackle our emotions head on.
Our mother daughter shoulders to the wheel.
Megan went about cleaning the kitchen while I labored to put everything in it's place, moving from room to room like a man on a mission.
The baby was not thrilled with our new found determination but we remained strong to her protests.
We moved her from the floor to the swing to the jumper to her stomach to her back to the floor and well you get the picture.
After a hour or so I caved in a little
My grandma resolve not as resolute as I had planned.
She thrust out her arms and formed a human T, arching her back so that I could pick her up easier.
I looked over at Megan folding a massive mountain of laundry with tears in her eyes.
Plan B
I scooted Megan out the door with an errand to buy baskets at the dollars store with a coupon to chickfila in her hand for a free sandwich.
I assured her that it was an important task and that I would hold down the fort...chief baby and all.
And then I layed on the carpet beside Kate and spent the next hour just enjoying every moment with her.
Kissing her soft brown hair and listening to her squawking attempts at conversation.
I silently prayed and thanked God for the opportunity to enjoy a new life to it's fullest.
Not like I did with my own.
Tired and worried with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
But from a new vantage point.
From a grandmas perspective.

 And I knew what I wanted to tell Megan when she got home.
I wanted her to know that she is doing an amazing job with my sweet grandchild.
That she has met and exceeded all of my expectations of her.
That she is mother that I am proud to call my daughter.
And Kate is lucky to have been born to her.
And although the hormone fairy delivers a bad day once in awhile.
She is doing the most important job in the world.
And she is doing it amazingly.

1 comment:

Twins Squared said...

And Megan is lucky to have you too! What a sweet thing to stay with the baby and send her out. I imagine in her place that would have been the perfect medicine for me - to get out of the house on my own for just a quick bit! Hope you're doing well Shelley!