Friday, June 7, 2013

To Drink or Not to Drink.....that is the question.

So I have a bit of a drinking problem.
Isn't that the first step to recovery?
Identifying and admitting your issues?
Problem is that I am not quite sure that I want to be cured.
So I probably will get bogged down on one of the 12 steps I would take.
I like carbonated diet drinks.
Not an actual picture of me but a representation of what some people choose to see.

I think I know it's origins.
I didn't like carbonated drinks as a child.
We rarely had access to them since my mom was on a strict budget.
But once in a while they would bring home a jug of root beer from A & W and everyone in the family would be elated.
Except for me.
It hurt my mouth and nose and stomach and I didn't really care for the taste.
So this problem didn't arise from my parents putting diet coke in my bottle or serving it at dinner as a young child.
(I hate to admit it but Diet Coke didn't even exist until I was a young adult. I can hear the guffaws from my children right now as they read this. One time I told them that there was no egg McMuffin until I was an adult and they belly laughed and snorted for a week)
But when I turned 11 or 12 my once skinny frame began to put on the pounds.
My mom who was constantly on a diet would buy Tab as a treat for herself.
This is not an actual image of what Tab looked like when I was a teenager. We didn't have the pull back tab on the lid like this picture shows. we had this....

Yea kids.....yuck it up again about how old I am but you don't know what you missed. This little object could be made into jewelry!! Rings and chains and it was FUN!

In the 70's we were not as worried about the dangers of our food and beverages.
No one told us that it would burn through our insides or give us headaches or ruin the enamel of our teeth.
Back then sugar was the demon...it not only gave you cavities but it made you FAT!
So since I was battling the battle of the bulge myself
And had a mouth full of fillings, I saw my path clearly
I was enticed by the fact that Tab only had 1 calorie.....let me say that again 1 CALORIE
Do you know how rare a thing that is??
1 Calorie
That meant that no matter what other enticing food I could not have in copious amounts...
I COULD HAVE AS MUCH TAB AS I WANTED!!
For anyone who has EVER restricted their calorie intake you know what an amazing statement that is.
And so a habit was born and formed and forged in the fires of 1 calorie
Am I addicted?
Maybe
Maybe not
My baby girl Lauren challenged me to give it up for one month.
So I did.
I did not turn into a grouchy, headachey monster. (since that seems to be my lot, drink or not)
I did not feel withdrawal symptoms.
I felt fine.
But what I did learn was that I was lazy.
SHOCKER!
Without someone to hand me my beverage filled to the top with Sonic Ice, flavored with just a hint of cranberry every day, I had a problem.
This ban meant that I had to get a cup out of the cabinet, walk over to my refrigerator door, fill my cup with ice that I did not like, then open the said refrigerator door and pull out the pitcher with the 1/2 cup left of flavored water that someone did not replenish the night before, then go to my pantry, rip open another bag of flavoring......well you get the picture.
So after 30 days I went back to Sonic with the smug satisfaction that I was NOT addicted only lazy.
What a proud proud moment.
That is until the manager of my Sonic was so RUDE that I just HAD to boycott them.
No worries I just took my business to my newly opened Murphys gas station who had flavoring and pellet ice and make friends there.
Only problem was that they did not have the right cups.
And so my search began.
For a large enough mug to get me through the day, yet with a large enough opening to fill it to the top with ice, without looking like I was carrying a construction workers playmate cooler.
I found one at the dollar store that I LOVED!
It was beautiful  crystal clear green with a sturdy green handle, and a wide enough mouth to accommodate the flow of ice but not too large to attract attention.
And it was 1 dollar! That is almost as great as 1 calorie!!
I only bought one so that I could take her out on the road and give her a test drive.
It did not disappoint.
I went back the next week to my Dollar Tree ready to purchase 5 or 6 of them.
GONE! They were all gone. And in their place was a small necked jug that sprayed ice all over the gas station. (Yes I tried it, the worker even gave me a paper cone to use but it just got jammed up in the soggy pulpy paper)
But that was okay.
I still had my lean mean green mug.
I would cherish it and keep it clean and glory in the fact that I had the perfect beverage holder.
I came home one night to this.

When Todd empties the dishwasher he puts the things he doesn't know what to do with on the counter.
This was just sitting there on the kitchen counter waiting for me.
I gasped....no I mean it....an audible gasp.
I said, "TODD WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MUG?"
To which he replied, "What? What's wrong with it. Is that not the way it is suppose to look?"
I think the least he could have done was to give it a proper burial in the trash can outside so that I didn't have to have this image embedded in my brain.




2 comments:

Megan Robertson said...

Very funny post! I was worried you were going to give it up again. No drinks for you means that you stop buying me drinks! lol. ;)

Twins Squared said...

This is funny. And I can totally relate. My vice is Dr.Pepper. Everything is telling me to stop but I just love it so much. And there's nothing better than pellet ice and the right cup! I think I am lazy AND addicted. Good luck on your search for a new cup.