Friday, February 17, 2017

Is it enough?

I haven't blogged in a really long time.  
Reasons? Excuses? I have many. 
Blogging was a fad. No one blogs anymore. 
I take pictures. Those will serve as my legacy. The photos will speak for me. 
My thoughts are insignificant. Who would sit and read them anyway?
There is so much out there written. So many words to read. I already waste enough time on the internet.
I am mediocre at writing. Why do I keep trying things only to find that I am just average. Nothing special or extraordinary.
I'm lazy. That's okay that I am lazy. I am a grandma for pete's sake. I can just sit back on the proverbial rocker of like and watch the next generation rule the net.

That's me in the picture above. The flat shadowy figure watching...documenting a moment that I won't forget....
We have been driving all day. Since 5 o clock that morning Todd, Megan, Dave, 4 year old Kate and 1 year old Sam and myself all cocooned in a red van filled with snacks and toys and laughter sprinkled with mere minutes of sleep and a whole lot of crying. We are on our way to meet with my other children and their families in Colorado. I have rented a cabin midway between the Utah and Houston contingents. I have hopes for 5 days of having all of these precious people in one place...basking in the chaotic sweetness.  But for now we are still trying to get out of Texas. Why in the world did they make this state so big. It literally goes on for miles and I think that it would do us all good to feel as if the hours of endless highway gave way to a border. A tangible marker that we will be able to complete this journey.  Sam who is usually a champion napper has spent the afternoon alternately struggling and screaming to "geete ou" and closing his eyes and falling asleep for 5 minutes, only to dash our hopes that it is going to be longer. We have made frequent stops for the kids to stretch their legs but it is usually in some dirty gas station where we keep blurting out, "Don't touch that!" We needed a real stop. Somewhere that we all could regain hope that we could do this thing. That we would make it out of Texas someday. 
And so on the outskirts of Amarillo in the sea of corn rows, we found our salvation. 
Cadillac Stonehenge.
A row of now just car carcasses that were planted in the ground to resemble Stonehenge. A whimsical spray painted pile of junk. It was perfect.
We watched the sun drop low in the sky while Kate and Sam did what their little bodies had been telling them to do all day. Walk...Run...and play.
We could do this thing.
We would make it across that border to the promised land of Colorado.

I think I did an adequate job documenting through pictures that moment in time. I think you can see the joy in their little bodies and the beauty of the flat never ending corners of a state that I have grown to love and call home.
But what I think I want to accompany those pictures is my words.
For Kate and for Sam. For Megan and for Dave and Todd.
And most importantly for me. I need to remember that in this day of awards and trophies and likes and internet popularity contests that I really write for me.
And that wiping tears from my cheeks as I put into words this moment in time is the reward.
And that is enough.

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