Friday, August 7, 2009

Warning: Not for the Faint of Heart

One of these things is not like the other
One of these things just doesn't belong
Can you find the thing that's not like the other
Before I finish my song.

You are right clever readers. It is my middle toe nail!

Now please forgive me for posting a picture of my foot. Please forgive the fact that I am in desperate need of a pedicure. Please know that I wish I had put lotion on before I took the picture. But this has summed up my weird week.
I was sitting in my favorite chair at 1 am the other morning, pondering life's deep mysteries..... (Translation: I am getting old and possibly getting close to menopause and now that there are no crying babies or things like that to keep me from sleeping...I can't sleep) when I looked down at my toes and thought (ok maybe I even said it out loud since there was no one who would hear me at that hour)
ARGGGGGG! Do I need a pedicure!! (rhetorical question so no need for actual question mark)
It appeared that the toe nail polish was coming off at the corner of my middle toe.
Note to reader: This is where it gets a little graphic so you may either want to skip the next few lines or click the little x button at the top right hand corner of the blog. But really what is the point since you've already seen the picture.
But it wasn't the nail polish after all
It was the TOE NAIL!
Completely separate from my toe except for a little teeny tiny patch in the corner.
It swung right off like a barn door on it's last hinge.
DOUBLE ARGGGGGGGG!
How did this happen? Why wasn't I informed earlier? I know that I am old but am I LITERALLY falling apart starting at the bottom and working it's way up?
I never have been one to be really "in touch" with my physical self but THIS was ridiculous. A whole toe nail gone. A new one already growing in it's place.
I am going to have to spend less time blogging and blurking and more time studying my feet....
or any other body part which is threatening to fall off.

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3 comments:

Kimberly said...

Shelly - you are so funny! I have started following your blog. You know, I was telling my mom the other day how great I think you are. Whether it's a lesson you teach, a comment you make, or whatever - I love knowing you because not only are you funny & articulate, but you are real (I can't always relate to people at church) but at the same time so faithful! Never thought you'd get a comment like this on your toenail post, huh?

Jenny said...

LOL...Not because you lost your toenail,but because you did not notice ;)

Victoria said...

Just curious... is the toenail growing back?