Wednesday, November 9, 2011


It's quiet.
I have accomplished what I feel is a day's full of activities
and it is not quite 7 pm.
I jokingly posted this on my facebook wall... 
I slept in, did some work, went to lunch with my mom, cleaned my room, walked 3 miles, made dinner and elfed myself and my siblings and it isn't even 7pm yet. This daylight savings time is really messing with me. I'm going to have to start pacing myself better.
It struck me that years ago I dreamed this life.
All too real memories flood back of waiting for Todd after the darkness of daylight savings time had caused all three children to be back safely in the house and watch the minutes tick by as if they were hours. Each child either hungry, bored, tired or the combination of all three and me trying to fix dinner and mentally counting the minutes till my relief showed up. On bad evenings (and truly there were not that many....flashbacks are always a little exaggerated)  I would mentally count the years until they were all gone.
Figuring that maybe the smarter ones could skip a grade or two.
(To my three amazingly intelligent children reading this.....of course mommy means you)
And therefore take a few years off of my sentence.
I knew that the light at the end of the tunnel would be glorious.
And it is....

I want to skip to another story here before I wrap up this little "deep thought"
(Don't worry I will come back to this one) 

I was in the Salt Lake airport last week waiting for my flight to take me back home.
I had had a wonderful week with my four children.
(Yes Dave you ARE my family)
And I was a little misty at the thought of leaving them.
With the Winns, good-byes are usually pretty ugly.
I was excited to get back to my new home, my sweet husband and my very quiet life
But I still was trying to transition.
I decided my best strategy was to go stand at the missionary portal.
For those of you who are not LDS or from the state of Utah let me explain.
In the Salt Lake airport there is a place that daily has families and friends
Huddled together with balloons and signs and smiles that are the best smiles in the world.
What smile beats the one of a mother about to embrace her son after two years of not doing so?
The only reunions that I have ever seen to equal them are the military reunion videos that I have stopped myself from watching since I end up crying so much I am afraid of short circuiting my keyboard.
The looks on these peoples faces are like a boost...
A legal drug...
Better than a triple rainbow.
They are my favorite thing about flying out of Utah.
I watched for a few minutes and remembered
I could feel the hug that meant so much to me in Guatemala
I knew that when tears were about to form that it was time for me to move through the 
jolting reality of security.
As I approached the woman TSA agent I took one more look behind me to soak up the look on the eager families faces...
A moment in time that they would remember forever.
Uplifted I gave her a big smile and said HI!!
(In fairness I always smile because I don't want to be strip searched, but this one was real, I promise)
I then blurted out,
"You must have the BEST job in the world!"
She scowled.
I mean you get to watch this (and I pointed my arms in the direction of missionary portal) EVERYDAY!
That's when she exploded.
I walked away a little stunned.
I wanted to say something but I didn't...... but body cavity search????
I just had to settle on thinking in my mind what I had just experienced.
How two people could see something so differently.
That what made one person weep with emotion...
Would make another person so angry.
I guess it's all about perception.

And so I say to all my friends out there with small children at home who are in the trenches of motherhood. Yes there are some great things to look forward to...
But enjoy every second that you can right now.
There are things to be missed.
And miss them you will.
It is all about perception.

P.S. To all those wondering why I posted that picture with this post....I just liked it.  I like scary things. Todd does not.....perception

1 comment:

fcc said...

This is such an awesome post!