Sunday, September 26, 2010
The Empty Nest
About this new "stage" in my life.
Writing about it will help me absorb it and then move on but
the words are stuck in my brain.
I have faith that they will dribble out on their own in unexpected ways
and unexpected places.
But for now I will just share a quote from a movie.
I don't want to tell you then name of the movie because...well.....it's not a good movie.
It's not that it is a movie with sex or violence or nudity.
I can't recall any swearing.
It is just one of those movies that turns everything upside down but assures you it is right side up.
When I saw it in the theaters I was angry at the way they manipulated my feelings so that wrong seemed like right and right seemed like wrong.
When I saw it on the TV guide I muttered...
Oh THAT movie. I am not going to get suckered into watching that again.
And I planned on not watching it.
I am still not sure how I ended up watching it but there was something that the main character said that spoke to how I was feeling.
When a woman makes a choice to marry and have children.
In one way, her life begins
and in another way it stops.
You build a life of details and
you just stop and stay steady
So that your children can move and
When they leave they take your life and details with them.
You are expected to move on again,
but you don’t even remember what it was that moved you.
Because nobody has asked you in so long
Not even yourself.
I have felt a little like an untethered balloon.
It is a light and floaty feeling that I am not entirely comfortable with right now.
Don't get me wrong.
I love being a wife and mother.
It is what I chose and sacrificed for and
There is nothing that I would change or want to do different.
But I am at the place where I need to move on.
And I am asking myself,
What it is that moves me.....
And so the journey begins.