Anyone know an adult who collects giraffes?

Amigurumi.
That's what that these are called.
I know I know
They look like stuffed animals....weird one's... agreed....but crocheted stuffed animals nonetheless.
But if they are called amigurumi in today's world then who am to argue.
I am becoming a grandma after all. soon.
April.
And I want to be the best one I can be.
When my children were young, I was fascinated by toys and toy aisle in Target and WalMart. My mother would tire quickly when I would say I was going to make a quick sweep through the toy section. She knew that quick was half an hour at best.
I loved toys.
It was in fact one of the things that I missed about being a young mother.
Being able to buy toys
and
feeling the movement of a baby inside me.
Well I think I get to have one of those two things back.
And to link that new urge with my sudden urge to crochet.....
Well just stamp a big "G" on my forehead and pull up the rocking chair.
So when I signed up for daily crocheting patterns and they kept using the word
"amigurumi"
Well I had to know what that meant.
After all I am a mother who not only knew every pokemon name but helped collect those all important cards.
"GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!"
I looked it up in the dictionary and there was no definition there.
I started a google search on the crocheting sites and came up with this explanation.
  Amigurumi is the Japanese art of knitting or crocheting small stuffed animals and anthropomorphic creatures. The word is derived from a combination of the Japanese words ami, meaning crocheted or knitted, and nuigurumi, meaning stuffed doll. 
Ok so I am not japanese....stuffed doll. Got it.
I decided to investigate further.
The descriptions that followed of why I should make the stuffed dolls amused me.
For instance....
 Lorelei the Ladybug- Use free amigurumi crochet patterns to make this ladybug. It's an easy crochet pattern that you can give to your friends. Add him to your great collection of amigurumi friends. Again, makes a great friend for a child.
Truly who DOESN"T want a great friend for your child. I had never thought when my children complained to me that they had NO friends that I could have just crocheted one up for them.
The Love Bug- These love bugs are adorable for all ages. They make for great gifts on Valentine's day or any day of the year. Your kids can play with the love bugs and have tea parties with them. 
Now this one is problematic since Mormons don't drink tea but who knew that Love Bugs did?
Georgia the Giraffe- Crochet a cute giraffe like this one for the next baby shower you go to. The colors are nice and bright for baby to look at. It's an easy crochet pattern that works best with worsted weight yarn and an H hook. This makes for a great gift for an adult who collects giraffes.
I will now be on the look out for any adult who has a giraffe collection. If you know of any I will be sure to whip one up.
And finally my personal favorite.....
Amigurumi Style Pug- This type of dog is controversial, some people love it, some people not so much. I personally think they're really cute, but if you don't want the hassle of cleaning up after it or taking it for walks then use this free amigurumi crochet pattern to create your own crocheted pug.
Although I did NOT know that the Pug was a controversial breed, I do think that a crocheted dog makes perfect sense.
No hassles
No cleaning
No walking
I am fairly sure that amigurumi's don't eat.
But I will have to get back to you on that one.
 

Texas Fried Pride

How do you know that you are in a high class eating establishment?
How are you assured that your Texas eating experience will be top notch?
How can you guarantee that your fried foods will be moist and filled with oily goodness?

Make sure you pick the joint that has napkins that flow freely...
Like toilet paper on a roll.
All 8 of them lined up in a row.
Oh and if the locals that are packed in there look at you a little funny.
It's okay....
Just smile a little wider and say,
Yes they are ALL my real teeth.

If a little's good.....

My Grandpa Rampton used to like to say when indulging in a favorite food....
If a little's good..a LOT is better!
I have been applying that to the internet lately with some rather frustrating results I must say.
When computers first came out before the world wide web
(Can you imagine a time before the internet?...My kids think it is hilarious that I was born before the invention of the Egg McMuffin let alone the personal computer)
I remember playing a very rudimentary game of Jeopardy on my parents new computer and thinking
If I could just play this game every day...
I would be happy.
But I didn't own one yet and the novelty of the computer when visiting my parents made necessary a sharing policy which did not suit my wants.
Then came the internet.
I had an email account with Juno (remember them...My dad still uses his juno account for email. I think he is their last and only customer. He is loyal like that. If it ain't broke.....
Then MySpace
Then it was facebook
(My husband still once in awhile calls it spacebook)

But only for the cool college kids so I had to settle for spying from my daughters account.
Then the rest of us, the common masses, the sneeches without stars on our bellies, were allowed to join.
Then blogging.
Didn't intend to start but somehow did. (I blame you Dave)
Then twitter.
I got an account...
Never had anything to say
Then with my new passion for photography I joined multiple groups....
Clickin Moms, SmugMug, Professional Photography, Photography for Dummies, Photography People, Photographic Phglem.....okay so I am making some of them up....but that's only because I can't remember all of their names.
My emails are growing exponentially by leaps and bounds...
I try to mostly focus on this blog and facebook
whilst occasionally checking on the rest of them...
well those that I remember joining.
I try to get followers for this blog
and my photography site
(because that's what all the cool kids and the star bellied sneetches do)
and it's like pulling teeth.
(This is a blatant plug for liking me and following me if you haven't already...I don't know why it makes me happy but it does)
So this week I get an invitation for Pinterest.
I know from the buzz on the streets that this is new place where all the cool kids are hanging.
And you have to be invited..
After all isn't that what makes it even cooler?
So of course I join.
Not sure I have anything to "pin"
or the time to look at anyone else's bulletin board but hey
ALL THE COOL KIDS..........
Now here is the irony.
I get 4 or 5 emails a day saying that different people are following me or friends with me or "pin" pals or whatever you call it.
What are you following people?
I haven't done ANYTHING!
I am pinless...
Is there an award for the person who collects the most bulletin boards?
Is there a cash prize?
WILL I BE ONE OF THE COOL KIDS??????
Please let me know.
And while your at it...
Do you know what my username and password is for all of these things..
Because I don't.

Now go and follow me here on this blog and SheWinn Photography.....pretty please????

I'm Expecting!

New nest,
Crocheting little hats,
Craving all sorts of un-figure friendly foods...
New aches and pains,
Stopping in the toy aisle....
It's official!
I'm expecting....................
my first grandchild, that is.
As much as I knew that I was technically old enough to have a grandchild, it was still somewhat of a shock to my system. (as well to my daughter who is carrying her the first nine months)
In some ways it still hasn't really sunk in yet.
But I think that I am getting there.
I decided this year that I wanted to learn a new skill this year.
I want to continue learning something new even though I am old.
I chose sewing.
So far the machine I borrowed from my mother sits in the corner.
New plan!
Crocheting.
I have been drooling over some of the etsy sites which sell newborn crocheted hats as photography props. I thought that it would really help my new business if I had my own collection.
It started to dawn on me that it was part of my training.
The gray hair, the new house, the sudden interest in crocheting...
I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMA!

And so it goes...
I am learning to crochet
These are my first four attempts.
I think I'm going to rock this.

I told you so......:(

 

(Classic Jack, roasting a marshmallow rice krispie treat instead of a marshmallow)

I love this kid....er.....adult.

Since the day he was born he has always tried to do the right thing....

Well almost.

In the major areas, particularly if he thought it would upset me, he has tried his best to do what he has been taught.

In fact I swear that he would watch his older sister get in trouble for something and I could see the wheels in his brain spin with a mental checklist...

That made mom mad...

Don't do that...

Check.

My girls always complained that I never got angry at Jack.

That is just wasn't fair.

I would ask them if every time they got in trouble should I yell at Jack too, just to even things out.

(For the record, I am really not a "yeller". In fact with me you should worry more when I get real quiet. Ask my kids about the Sacrament meeting death grip which was done in complete silence)

His sisters are always alerting me to the fact that he is NOT perfect and that when I am not looking he does things wrong ALL the time.

To which I reply, "maybe you should try the quiet approach as well."

You gotta kind of admire someone who can be that stealthy.

The one thing I did notice as he grew was that for the most part he would follow all the rules unless......

He thought they were really stupid rules.

Take when the time when his first grade teacher wanted him to make a row of t's and he felt that the way it should be done is make a row of vertical lines and then with one long swoop of his pencil cross all his t's with one long line. When he did not get the smiley face stamped on his work, he was truly perplexed as to why.  When I explained it to him I could see that he did NOT see the logic. From that point on until a miracle which happened on his mission (story for another day) his handwriting was illegible. It was his way of being a conscientious objector.

He and I have a little bit of a running argument about driving and parking.

He thinks that parking violation is one of those stupid rules like having to individually crossing your t's.

I as the mother who wants their child to be perfect respond,

"It doesn't matter if you think a law is stupid, you should always obey it. Even if I was in the middle of the desert with no one in sight for hundreds of miles, I would come to a complete stop."

(I would! Really I would!)

To which he might respond, "Parking violations are not breaking the law"

To which I would sign and just say, "well you will think differently if you ever get a ticket."

Last night I got a text from him saying,

"My life is ruined"

(For the record, I hate those kind of messages from my kids. I know they are usually being a tad overly dramatic but they still make my stomach plummet like when you ride one of those amusement park rides.)

His car had been towed.

His defense was that they only are suppose to tow after midnight and he had made sure to be out before midnight.

I asked, "What did the sign say?"

"No parking unless you are a resident"

"So you shouldn't have parked there?"

"But every apartment complex in Provo waits until midnight until they start towing."

"Apparently not"

He then told me that I wasn't helping. That my job was to say that things like that happen and everything would be alright.

That's what I wanted to say the minute I heard.

But I couldn't.

I am a mother.

Now here is the part that Jack doesn't know.

I hate saying, "I told you so" or anything like it.

When any of my children "learn a lesson" through their own "experience", and suffer their own consequences, everything that is in me wants to scream,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I don't want you to suffer!

I don't want you to be sad or angry or hurt or disappointed..

(or pay $175 dollars when you are a poor student struggling to make ends meet and now won't get to go skiing this weekend)

Why do you think I kept trying to tell you over and over what you should do?

It's not because there is ANY satisfaction in telling you,

"I told you so."

I don't want to be right.

I just don't want you to be wrong.

P.S. Son, it happens to all of us....it is a part of life.....and everything is A-okay.

P.S.S. There is always a silver lining to any sad story told. A little bird told me that Jack's sister felt so bad for him that she deposited 15 dollars of her own money to help him buy groceries this week without even letting me know it. Can I tell you what that does to a mother's heart? It makes every bad moment worth it. I am so proud of all of my kids. They continue to amaze me. 

What is WRONG with me?

What is WRONG with me?
(For those of you with answers to that...please submit your list alphabetically, single spaced and please remember to number your pages in proper MLA format)
I hadn't looked at my blog for months.
(You noticed too?.....you didn't?....nevermind)
I didn't think that it really mattered anyway.
I am sure that you all have plenty in your life to do without reading about my life.
Plus there are a bazillion blogs out there.
(Really..... I've counted. What do you think I have been doing the last few months?)
In fact I was reading one this morning of a mom whose child passed away of disease that seemed tortuous both to the baby and mom.
And through it all she blogged about it.
Almost three years of constant care of her dying child and she blogged almost daily.
I wondered if it was her link to the outside world....
I wondered if it was cathartic for her to have a place to express her feelings...
Was it a way of asking for help?
I looked at the tab at the top of my screen with the bookmark of my blog that had gone untouched.
I clicked it.
And started reading my own writing
I don't even remember some of the posts.
(no I am not crazy, "on" anything)
I enjoyed remembering about what I was thinking at that particular moment in time.
It struck me that our journey of thoughts are fleeting.
There are too many of them to keep them present and real to our minds.
So most of them are lost..
or not...

I had a professor at BYU who theorized that our physical bodies are our book of life from which we will be judged. That every thought, feeling and emotion is written and recorded in our cells.  All of the information which is so neatly tucked away will be revealed when we are able and ready to access them.
Until that time,
I think I need to be better at writing some of them down.
To remind myself
of me.
Who I was, who I am, and who I want to be.
A road map.
And ya'll are welcome to come along anytime you desire.