Saturday, February 4, 2012

I told you so......:(

(Classic Jack, roasting a marshmallow rice krispie treat instead of a marshmallow)

I love this
Since the day he was born he has always tried to do the right thing....
Well almost.
In the major areas, particularly if he thought it would upset me, he has tried his best to do what he has been taught.
In fact I swear that he would watch his older sister get in trouble for something and I could see the wheels in his brain spin with a mental checklist...
That made mom mad...
Don't do that...
My girls always complained that I never got angry at Jack.
That is just wasn't fair.
I would ask them if every time they got in trouble should I yell at Jack too, just to even things out.
(For the record, I am really not a "yeller". In fact with me you should worry more when I get real quiet. Ask my kids about the Sacrament meeting death grip which was done in complete silence)
His sisters are always alerting me to the fact that he is NOT perfect and that when I am not looking he does things wrong ALL the time.
To which I reply, "maybe you should try the quiet approach as well."
You gotta kind of admire someone who can be that stealthy.
The one thing I did notice as he grew was that for the most part he would follow all the rules unless......
He thought they were really stupid rules.
Take when the time when his first grade teacher wanted him to make a row of t's and he felt that the way it should be done is make a row of vertical lines and then with one long swoop of his pencil cross all his t's with one long line. When he did not get the smiley face stamped on his work, he was truly perplexed as to why.  When I explained it to him I could see that he did NOT see the logic. From that point on until a miracle which happened on his mission (story for another day) his handwriting was illegible. It was his way of being a conscientious objector.
He and I have a little bit of a running argument about driving and parking.
He thinks that parking violation is one of those stupid rules like having to individually crossing your t's.
I as the mother who wants their child to be perfect respond,
"It doesn't matter if you think a law is stupid, you should always obey it. Even if I was in the middle of the desert with no one in sight for hundreds of miles, I would come to a complete stop."
(I would! Really I would!)
To which he might respond, "Parking violations are not breaking the law"
To which I would sign and just say, "well you will think differently if you ever get a ticket."

Last night I got a text from him saying,
"My life is ruined"
(For the record, I hate those kind of messages from my kids. I know they are usually being a tad overly dramatic but they still make my stomach plummet like when you ride one of those amusement park rides.)
His car had been towed.
His defense was that they only are suppose to tow after midnight and he had made sure to be out before midnight.
I asked, "What did the sign say?"
"No parking unless you are a resident"
"So you shouldn't have parked there?"
"But every apartment complex in Provo waits until midnight until they start towing."
"Apparently not"
He then told me that I wasn't helping. That my job was to say that things like that happen and everything would be alright.
That's what I wanted to say the minute I heard.
But I couldn't.
I am a mother.

Now here is the part that Jack doesn't know.
I hate saying, "I told you so" or anything like it.
When any of my children "learn a lesson" through their own "experience", and suffer their own consequences, everything that is in me wants to scream,
I don't want you to suffer!
I don't want you to be sad or angry or hurt or disappointed..
(or pay $175 dollars when you are a poor student struggling to make ends meet and now won't get to go skiing this weekend)
Why do you think I kept trying to tell you over and over what you should do?
It's not because there is ANY satisfaction in telling you,
"I told you so."

I don't want to be right.
I just don't want you to be wrong.

P.S. Son, it happens to all of is a part of life.....and everything is A-okay.
P.S.S. There is always a silver lining to any sad story told. A little bird told me that Jack's sister felt so bad for him that she deposited 15 dollars of her own money to help him buy groceries this week without even letting me know it. Can I tell you what that does to a mother's heart? It makes every bad moment worth it. I am so proud of all of my kids. They continue to amaze me. 

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