You can learn a lot by staring

I am filling in for my mom for two weeks.

She is a serving a mission in the local mission office for a year.

Problem was that when she was called she had already booked a two week cruise to the greek isles. I know....tough break but someone has to float around in a 5 star ship being served lobster tails and caviar and it was her turn I guess. (If you want an idea of what it looks like where she is then watch the movie mamma mia. That's where she is floating.

I get to stay here.

Before I start to sound so whiny...it does have it's advantages.

I have been a SAHM for 22 years now.

When I first started blogging I had no idea what SAHM was. Everytime I would read it on someone's blog I would make up my own definition.

Santa and his mama

Stay away, have measles

Sarcastic and have meatballs

Sad and/or happy mentally

Well you get the point....sorry I digress. (Just in case I am not the only retard on the planet it means Stay at home mother.....which would have been a handy phrase when my mom asked me to sub for her.....I could have just spewed out...SAHM)

Anyway I have enjoyed parts of the last few days.

My favorite part is when I get to the office. I am the first to arrive and am ususally here for the first hour or so by myself. I open the door, open the blinds, sit down at my computer and

stare.

I stare out the window.

I am pacing my work because there is not enough to keep me busy for the whole day. Other than answering the phone which only rings a few times a day, the chores my mother left for me take only about an hour or two total. I want to save my work until everyone gets here so I won't feel left out or appear to be a slacker.

That's ok with me though. I have found that my life is missing a good staring session. It's theraputic. Being my own boss these past 22 years as a SAHM has made me realize that I tend to fill my mind with noise. When my kids were small it was just the noise that they made...ALL DAY! Sometimes I thought my brain would explode from the constant noise. I began to just despise the word "mom". They would say it over and over and over. Sometimes they would say mom...mom...(me: what?)....mom...mom...(me: yes?) mom....mom...(me:WHAT!!!!) oh I didn't hear you....can I have a pop tart? I longed for peace and quiet. Then when they all started to peel off to their own little worlds at school, I would turn on the TV or the radio...so accustomed to the noise that I subconciously filled their void.

But nothing makes you stop and stare more than sitting at a job with no TV or radio....
no distractions.
It is good to be quiet.
To look around and really see what is around you
oh and it's good to have a dish of candy sitting next to you
just in case.