Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Starting Over....

I'm back.
Well at least whatever "I" am now is back.
Which is in part,
what explains my absence.
I thought when I reached this stage of life there would be
a transition.
From active mom to long distance mom,
from active commander in chief to a nice cushy mother desk job
away from the real action,
That all of the skills and knowledge I had collected would be channeled
into this change
I thought that there would just be an "adjustment" period
and then life would smooth itself out
as it usually does.
But it's not going as planned.
This is not a transition but an ending and then another beginning.
And let's face it
Beginnings and endings stink.
It's really the middle of things that contains the very best life
has to offer.
I have to start all over again like some life sized game of Sorry.
You are not you...
Even grocery shopping has changed.
My mom tells the story of when her last chick, Baby Davey left the
nest and she went to the store
she stood in the Spaghettios aisle
and cried because she always kept it in bulk for the little buggar.
No I am not crying at my local Kroger.......
but I wandered around
the store passing by all the usual choices.
By the time I reached the last aisle my cart contained enough food
for prisoner of war type rations.
It dawned on me that in the last 24 years I have really only shopped
for my kids,
Don't get me wrong, Mr. T and I still ate
as evidenced by our expanding waistlines
we were really only eating "their" food as it turns out.
I have no idea what to feed just "us"
I have never purchased a "bunch" of bananas that only included 3.
(Todd get's the extra in case you were wondering)
I know every favorite food of my three kiddies
but have forgotten what Mr. T and I liked.
A skill that I had previously excelled at but no longer feel confident in.
So I have not blogged lately because I am trying to start all over.
And believe me...
It isn't easy.
To make myself feel a little better today I purchased a 6 dollar bag
of real sea salt.
It's pink and pretty and I would NEVER have done that when the kids
lived here.
So ready or not...
here I go.
(P.S. The picture is one that Jack took. He thought it was so funny that I would buy a magic bloody knife with my groceries. But hey it was half off and you can NEVER have enough of those. Also take note of the hostess cakes, double stuff oreos and kolaches....that would be Jack's favorites...not mine! Not that I haven't been known to take the tops off of two of them and smash them together to make a quadruple stuff oreo occasionally, but again, not MINE!)
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Twins Squared said...

Well, I'm sure it doesn't feel like it but from an outside point of you, it is like you have the opportunity to REdiscover yourself! I don't remember myself anymore but with my kids in preschool glimpses of that girl do come back from time to time. I'm sure by the time I am an empty nestor I won't know her anymore either.

Hope you are "adjusting." We miss seeing you on Sundays now. All the more reason why I will have to read your blog.

Twins Squared said...

I meant to say "outside point of VIEW."

Megan Walker said...

It is definitely BOTH a transition, AND an end and a beginning! That is a huge life change and you're going to have to be really, really KIND to yourself. Do nice things for yourself. Make lists of things you'd like to do. Get some new ideas about cooking for two. Take a class or get the supplies for a hobby you've always had an interest in. Rearrange your furniture, stack up the books you'd like to read, take a little trip, rent your favorite movies, spend time with friends, blog more and let us encourage you.....whatever your thing is. I know it doesn't happen over night, but time really will help everything smooth out eventually. I am not far behind you, and really IS much tougher than I thought it would be! But it WILL be all right :)

Meg from wild child

Anonymous said...

I just climbed up in the attic and found a box of breakable wedding gift stuff that we put away when Miranda was born. I have no idea what is in that box. I remember thinking about what we would do when the kids were grown and off to college. I can't remember any of it. Tell me when you and Todd figure it out.

Tom said...

John-Ross wants to know if you'll send us a Magic Bloody Knife as there are no HEBs in Utah. :)