Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sick as a dog

Well the last three days have been fun......NOT! I have been as sick as a dog....what does that mean exactly anyway. I have a dog and she rarely is sick. Plus the few times I have seen her throw up she doesn't seem to even care. I am not EVEN going to gross you out with what she does after. Anyway I digress.......after two weeks of an upper respiratory virus, I followed it up with the good old fashioned up chuck fest. (I am sure there is a more delicate way to say it or perhaps I should not talk about it at all but in the last week I read blogs about passing gas, and home births (with pictures) so I think my little tale is fair game.) Anyway long story short I ended up Sunday night in the emergency room. Not sure that it was completely necessary, but the nurse on the phone after asking Mr. T a series of questions that he would in turn ask me as I sat on the floor of the bathroom, led her to believe that I was on the edge of dehydration. And to tell the truth at that point I would have probably given anyone whatever they wanted if they would just make the ...uh .....well....er.... regurgitation stop. After a seemingly endless ride to the hospital (Mr. T got a little lost) I entered the emergency room doors. I had been er..uh..losing my lunch for 6 hours straight every 30 minutes like clockwork and as I walked through the sterile automatic doors I realized that it had been 30 minutes since my last..uhm...er..... uh...."emptying". I figured that this would surely get the attention of the desk clerk and so I.......er..uh...uhm.....NOTHING! It had magically stopped. I was cured just by entering. A miracle you say? No because Mr T. had already filled out the paperwork and they had my drivers license. Why did they have my driver's license? Trust me that I was in no mood to operate a motor vehicle. Well I thought I would just get up and leave..I could always go to the DMV and stand in a line for four hours and get another one. But Mr. T insisted they check me out. Of course just my luck that there was a woman the night before that had the exact same symptoms as I and ended up having gall stones when she didn't have a gall bladder anymore which is extremely rare and dangerous so I got the FULL treatment. (btw I also have no gall bladder...too much info right?) I felt so stupid! They did blood tests and urine anaylsis and x-rays...YES x-rays! Four hours and two IV bags later then finally let me go free. Home never felt so good! (I did however end my experience at 5 am that next morning with one last.......er..uhm.....oral explosion.) It just couldn't have happened at the ER could it??

In honor of my being sick as a dog....enjoy a picture of my dog....who is NEVER sick and eats her own vomit..there I said it anyway.

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